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Good Clients – keep on coming to Edinburgh Apartments…

December 15th, 2009 · No Comments · Uncategorized

I would like to take this opportunity to write about all different groups of people we have had coming to our Edinburgh apartments over the last year and how pleased we are with them all…

It seems on face value that there is an assumption that the individuals who make up a stag or hen party are a totally separate breed of human being – not average day to day joes living an ordinary life, It would seem to me that the assumption is that there are about 10,000 stags and hen folk who spend each weekend repeatedly circling the uks towns and cities, urban terrorists of the heavy drinking, singing  kind who are not employed or unemployed not factory workers or doctors, not police men and women certainly not doctors or nurses and there is not an office worker or council official among them – they do not live in houses flats or cottages , they do not walk the dog in the morning or read a newspaper, nor do they go out for meals take a week away in Spain or go down the pub for a quiet drink. They do not eat at meal times or frequent the local park. They do not jog or use the gym  and they never, never pick up a popular novel or enjoy the odd soap opera on the telly. No, no, no these people can only be at any one time one of two things, permanently and forever , never to change ,  a stag, or a hen. All they do is stag and hen , they stag and hen party – constantly every weekend never taking a Friday or Saturday off. They do use the train the plane and the minibus, they only eat from takeaways and they are constantly drunk.Oh and sing, they do sing god bless em.

The same people, or non people -are interchangeable between groups, some young, some old, yes even old – they have been doing this their whole life don’t you know. A nameless crowd of 0  – 60 in one double vodka posse of waifs and strays low life non citizens. Or are they….

When I was young a respectable existence was deemed to be go to school, work hard, get a job, get married and start a family, obey the law and do the right thing.

Get married hmm. now then, Not a lot of people do that these days do they – a lot do not – in fact a lot do not get married even before bringing  up children. Certainly not the family values of the old fashioned crowd. Now forgive me if i am wrong but a stag party or a hen party usually , but don’t quote me on this, is a pre wedding celebration. So a hen or a stag is wishing someone well who is about to induldge in one of the most traditional and respected rituals offered by our society – a hen or a stag would never do such a thing – they shout heckle and abuse, they are constantly drunk. What would they know about family values, romance or respectablity – what the **** would they know about doing the right thing, making an honest woman of her, feathering the nest and all those poncey wedding vows and such.

It would seem they know a lot more than most – they are celebrating commitment and  love , they are saying a big hearty yes to honouring and obeying, Wishing you friend well as they prepare for the biggest day of their life can never be a bad thing, can it.

Now I must come clean, I run accommodation which from time to time accommodates stag and hen groups, there, I said it. It is my business, my families business and I do business with these people day in day out – weekend after weekend – surprisingly I might add I am very happy with the customers I get – not many business owners I would expect can make such a boast.

You see I get to meet different people from every walk of life from up and down the Uk and Ireland who have one thing in common – when I meet them they are HAPPY.  They are away from home, with their friends and have cause for celebration – the impending marriage of a brother friend work collegue son or daughter. Yes folks they are in Edinburgh and they are happy. Smiling, chatting and Happy. And I get to meet them – all of them, together. Every weekend different people – never the same face twice , as yet, the divorce rate is not that high. So it appears it is not the same people travelling as professional stag and hen groups on one long recurring party. There are Johns, Bobs, Andreas and Phils, the odd Martin, Frank, Mathew and Mark , often there is a Paula, a Joanne, a Fred and a Joe – occasionally but not often there is a Wilfred. quite literally the list goes on.

All different people from families like ours, yours and theirs – workers, athletes, joiners and secretaries, public servants, chefs, cyclists and actors very often Policemen and women  come…and stay. Some can even feel intimidated by Edinburghs busy city vibe, many come from small villages some from much bigger cities and all of them , all of them, come to Edinburgh to have a good time.

I do however get to meet a lot of other people in my line of work – Local Policemen and women Fire Officers, Licensing officials ( yeah I dont know why either) Journalists cab drivers publicans and event organisers. Some I choose to meet, some I have to meet and some are invited to meet me by others. Some are keen to support my business some are there to advise me and keep me on the straight and narrow and some just want me stopped.Wanted : normal guy trying to pay his mortagage – for the love of god stop him before someone enjoys themselves.

Let me tell you this – I am spouting off at this moment because at the weekend I had one bad do with a group – one group , one group this year, one group out of and I counted them 600 groups – one group of 20 people out of 10000 people – those are the statistics. They did a bit of damage- which they have paid for – a few broken beds a broken bar stool and a fractured step aerobics machine – yeah what was that doing in the apartment anyway god only knows. But we were covered by the bond the group had paid so everything is now fixed – as good as new , in fact no , just new, bonus. We reported this on our blog and immediatley attracted the attention of the local press – what happened? was it bad? can we take photos?

I was not keen to air the dirty washing and declined the offer of appearing in snaps next to a broken bar stool with a concerned look on my face. I am however offering here and now to open my doors to anyone wishing to appraise the standard of my accommodation as it would be in move in condition – to absorb the lively ambience appreciate the fine furnishings and superb decorative order, the huge range of electrical appliances and spacious living areas, the comfortable bedrooms and fully fitted kitchens.

Yes these Death traps are no spit an sawdust affair – plasma screens adorn the walls, designer leather sofas occupy the living rooms beautiful pressed white laundry inhabits the bedrooms – ensuite showers tiled from top to toe. All i might add with full safety inspections and warrants in hand – we even have smoke detectors would you believe. So why all this talk of dreaded Party Flats – because some people – I believe they range in number between 2 and 3, 4 at a push have the spirited industry to complain at ever turn – at the drop of a hat, literally.

What they dont seem to understand that as a business we deal in numbers – calenders, prices statistics, percentages – When we have 20 apartments in different locations throughout the city we have a grip on the numbers, they do not – they do not understand that of the 20 apartments we only get complaints on a very vigourous and regular basis about 1. Those two people, the ones who stay in on a friday and saturday night to make sure no one enjoys themselves EITHER just dont get this. Either all hens and stags are bad or only the ones who move into the apartments close to them.

Now, some are inclined to believe that there is a problem – and hen and stags should be discouraged from coming to Edinburgh. In an effort to acheive this end it has been recommended that party flats be banned or short term holiday apartments be made part of the HMO Multiple occupation laws. This to me would not pose a problem – you see we run an agency which advertises holiday apartments in Edinburgh – we as a company would specifically benefit from this outcome – you see we offer all types of apartment accommodation,from one bed, 2 bed, 3 bed, four, the studio on the corner and the guys next door -

I believe if the larger apartments were to have the numbers of occupants restricted these large groups who want to come to edinburgh will want still to come to edinburgh, and always will come to edinburgh will be simply split up over all of the smaller apartments which we act as agents for. Again statistically this adds up – 20 people in one flat will then have to take 5 flats which accommodate 4 people each.  So get used to it guys, it appears these two people not only want to share their alleged “woes” with me, the government, the police and my guests but with the general population of edinburgh city centre – what will happen when the guys staying next door to everyone at the weekend are stags and hens – think on. Unless it becomes a prerequisite for these permanent hens and stags to carry documents identifiying them as Name Bob Age 29 Marital status – Getting Married Next Month, Occupation Career Stag, how the hell can we stop them coming to edinburgh spending their money, taking taxis, eating at restaurants boosting the economy and staying in my flats. I do not know, I like these people – they are the happy ones.

There is a big stigma against hen and stag parties in Edinburgh and a lot of talk of how they are bad for Edinburgh because of noise pollution etc.

We have been in this business for a long time now and we have never had a really bad bunch of hens or stags.

99% of the time the apartments have been cleaned to a great standard and people do have the common sense and the respect to treat your flats with care. We have never had any trouble in our own flats and we make sure we take the right steps so the neighbours don’t get any hassle either, (warnings on first email contact,  posters all over the apartment about noise pollution and respecting the neighbours and a disclosure letter that they sign)

That said on behalf of Edinburgh festival apartments we would like thank all you great customers out there that have made this year a great one.

Happy new year

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